Showing posts with label negative day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative day. Show all posts


Started the month optimistic and with few good days. Later bad days got out of hand. As usual when emotions kick in my daily stop limit was breached.

I'm seriously contemplating leaving behind scalping. On some days I'm able to turn profit, but very hard and rare. On bad days I can't contain bad behavior and lose so much more then I win on good days. The problem is that I'm little disinterested in other forms of trading, other time frames. So when I don't scalp I don't trade.

May 2.
+12 pips

May 3.
+7 pips

May 7.
+11 pips

May 8.
+10 pips
On my second trade I was slow at entry as I clicked it moved 3pips, so I got bad position. Third trade it would be better to take 3-4 pips and not wait. I was overall slow this morning in every sense.

May 9.
-26 pips
Anger level through the roof.

May 10.
+11 pips
Eur/jpy was main drive down, steady but firm, eur/usd couldn't resist down force. At least I saw it like that.

May 11.
+5 pips

May 14.
-3 pips

May 15.
+3 pips

May 16.
-48 pips
I can't stop

May 17.
-18 pips
I had profit of 8 pips and I should have stop trading at that. Let's say greed kicked in and then I traded poorly. 

Afternoon session
-13 pips
Impatient, just jumping in.

May 23.
-6 pips

Rest of the month

April 9.

-7 pips

April 10.
-20 pips
I stayed inside daily stop. Too much momentum seeking trades when there is no momentum. I'm used to trading like this and do it when it's not appropriate. But my first goal is to stop trading when my daily stop is hit, today I did that without resistance.
I believe that when I get to trust myself about daily stops that it will get me relaxed and open up to a whole new level of non anxious trading. Then results will follow. So first step is respecting daily stop. If I managed to get rid of widening my individual stops I can do this also.

April 12.

-16 pips
Sometimes I can say I don't have sightless idea of what I'm doing.

April 13.
+8 pips
Insane how much time for + or - 6 pips move.

April 16.
-19 pips
Losing machine.

April 18.
-6 pips

April 20.
- 12 pips

April 24.
+6 pips

April 25.
-29 pips

April 26.
+13 pips
Stupid to keep scalp stops in situation like this when I'm not scalping. Serious problem is mixing trading styles. 

April 27.
-25 pips
I'm getting angry because I don't take scalp profits. If I'm going against the trend for any reason and have some profit on hand I should simply take it. This is not scalping, nor daytrading.

Same old

-42 pips
Nothing has changed from the start of this blog. Same behavior. I can't say same mistakes because something that you do for years isn't a mistake. It's what I do, nature, habit.
I just continued my yesterday's day. Trading eur/jpy against the trend looking for some reversal for the sake of the idea. Like I'm a winner if reversal come's no matter how much I lose in the meantime. I know very early in the trading day that it's not good at all. Bu I don't stop. I literally enjoy in excitement. It's same excitement that you get ridding roller-coaster. I tried that for the first time few months ago in Las Vegas. You are scared and it's extremely uncomfortable but at the same time exciting. I took the ride eight or nine times in a row. You don't get that with good profitable trades. Being scared is missing. So I'm just thrill seeker pretending that I want to earn money, but instead I want first of all a thrill. I need to stay in denial and telling myself that I'm here because of the money, it wouldn't work otherwise. It's not untrue that I want money, who doesn't. But I can't resist my urges, I'm just following strong emotions.
After so many year I don't mind it that much. I'm used to it. I would also really like to progress beyond this. That's why I stay at trading. It's a challenge to change myself. Or I'm saying that to myself just to have my cheep thrill.

I have to add now after hour and a half when emotions are cooled off. Do you have thoughts after day like this I will not do it again, this is my last time, form now on I will do it differently? They are just part of the same equation.
I believe that's how they portray addicts. 


March 2.

-1 pip

March 5.
-4 pips

March 6.
+33 pips
Too tight stop in eur/jpy took me out from monster move, I switched in eur/usd. I was stubborn didn't want to get out in first part where I was making and losing open profit.

March 7.

-20 pips
I made two mistakes in my first two trades and then when my idea proved right and I wasn't in I got so angry. After that I had angry trades trying to correct my initial mistakes, which is impossible, but that's how I'm wired. Slowly I'm depicting to myself my inner subconscious wiring that need to be amended but it's far from easy.
So in my trading I have mixed bag of trades and emotional response driven trades.

14. March
-33 pips

I was plain wrong but really wanted to trade. Market wasn't in the mood for moves, so it was all wishful thinking. Only one positive trade, but I got what I wanted, many trades. So no point in complaining.

22. March

-2 pips
Too early, not patient enough.

27. March
-31 pips

Bad trading

All negative, bad trading. Reasons for the trades were not there, probably many of them entered to cover loss from previous. Stops to close. Too many trades, too big loss for a day when market wasn't doing much. I moved away from cautious mindset.
-24 pips


Market didn't advance after popping 1.3400, so two small losses. When I felt after the urge to recover the loss I immediately closed the platform. That's good step in wanted direction.
- 5 pips

Making good day bad

First I was ashamed now I feel sad. From +27 I lost it all and then some. We can say that I hit invincibility tilt, but that doesn't change the fact that after so many years there is not a lot of improvement. Same mistakes all over again. 
-19 pips

Small loss but good day

I feel good about my today's trading. Everything went well from the small losses on the possible reversal of the minor trend to some profitable scalps. I was focused and emotions didn't hit me at any time. No problem with small loss, even no problem if loss was bigger. It passed some time from when I booked any profitable trade, so it felt good to be right on something and get closure with taking that profit.
-4 pips

More of the same

Didn't take 1R at first trade, then angry trade and small loss. Later, tricky market and me trying to trade like I used to, but it's not working any more. I wasn't by the screen in the meantime.
-24 pips

Same again

I wasn't by the screen in those minutes before my entry. Again, no follow through. I'm now used to this. Didn't take 10 pips, used to that also.
-3 pips

Missing to do the right thing

Again I don't want to take small profit. Probably because I have such small amount in my account that anything monetary is meaningless. Ugly fact is that this is also undisciplined, I don't listen to myself and don't take 1R or 2R in this case. Maybe I just don't want to miss out on a high of a runner trade. So, I'm trading for an adrenaline high. 
-7 pips

Small loss

I'm thinking to try out 1R trading, this waiting for golden ticket get me frustrated even when I get in at good price.
-5 pips

One trade, one stop

My stop was the low of the move, later it rebounded and hit 215. Bigger or smaller stops always find a way to be taken.
-11 pips

-15 pips

I need to move away from sub minute charts. I get direction but execution kill me.

-14 pips

Angry child

Still not able to control myself. After failure of swing trade idea emotional response. It's sometimes like I have emotional response of a child that is angry and frustrated and grownup that is also emotional and punishing that child for mistakes that it made. Just emotion after emotion play itself out. With demo like account I don't have pain of lost money after so I can look closer at it after.
Market wasn't that hard today, on the contrary it was tradable.

-35 pips

Down day

Messing around at figure. It would be better if I pick my spots in less dramatic places. I'm using today's loss to stop with trading as planned at daily loss limit. It's a step in emotional control. It's not easy for me to stop here and now.
I'm probably still somehow angry at yesterday's nonsense. Shouldn't even trade today.
-17 pips